American Citizen "Thanks" President Clinton For All Those Memories!
Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton:
I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore."
So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my "Thank you"
for what you have done, specifically:
1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky,
Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. Did I leave anyone
out?
2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex. I had really planned
to wait until they were older to discuss it with them, but now they know more
about it than I did as a senior in college.
3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially
the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the
meaning of "is" is. It really is great to know that certain sexual
acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the other one involved does
NOT have sex.
4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation
and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag the Dog"
could be plausible after all.
5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful,
Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look
moral.
6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th Amendment
and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democratic
campaign fund raising.
7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonment's from the
Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions
(so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.
8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of
our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations" carefully
disguised as necessary trips.
9. Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of dollars--- I really
didn't need it in the first place, and I can't think of a more well deserving
group of recipients for my hard-earned dollars than jet fuel for all of your
globe-trotting. I understand you, the family and your cronies have logged in
more time aboard Air Force One than any other administration.
10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of convicted
felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin society.
(Not to mention the scores you pardoned while Governor of Arkansas)
11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware. I'm sure that Laura
Bush didn't like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you've
received from your "friends."
12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for vandalizing
and destroying government property on the way out. I also appreciate removing
all of that excess weight (China, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap,
pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1. The weight
savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel. Thank
you!
13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance
for her upcoming "tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance
for your memoirs. Who says crime doesn't pay!
14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let
Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel
in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo
Agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called
"political prisoners". However, the Israelis would not release any
with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton,
and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all
prisoners be released. Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the
US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was
reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists
were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why
shouldn't Americans know the real truth? What a guy!!
Sincerely yours,
American Citizen